Course Overview: On The Need For Our Wisdom
Christian: Wherever we go, we find tons of stupid people. It's sad, but true. Stupid people are everywhere, and nowhere moreso than the United States. It's pretty pathetic when Americans don't know anything about their own country. They can't locate their states on a map, and they don't even know their state capitals. Take the people from Louisiana; they're as dumb as they come. All they know about is catfish and walking through swamps. I'd be suprised if they know how to read.
Edge: People from Louisiana are pretty lacking upstairs, but it's pretty much the same in any state you go to in the United States. Even in Canada and Europe, you're going to find that the majority of people are stupid. You may find a small minority of people who have an intelligence level as high as myself and Christian, but they're few and far between. When you watch Raw is War, you'll see the hayseeds boo us for giving them what we all know they really want - five seconds of flash photography.
     You see, not only are Edge and Christian the most intellectual tag team in the history of the World Wrestling Federation, but we are the most photogenic as well. And with that said, we can look down objectively at the peons and the rest of the people who try yo climb that metaphorical ladder rung by rung, foolishly believeing they can reach us. So, out of the goodness of our hearts, we're sending down some lessons from the learning tree.

Lesson 1 - Beauty
Christian: Just like the stupid people, there are ugly people everywhere we go. It looks like they've fallen from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down. I think North Carolina is a good example of what we mean. Look at the Hardy Boyz. They're two ugly North Carolinians who are on television.
Edge: You know the Hardy Boyz try to live up to what Edge and Christian represent, but there's no way they can match our good looks. We're, to be quite honest, stunning. And while the Hardy Boyz try and capture that, they fall real short. Ever wonder why they wet their hair and cover up their faces with it? Well, I'll tell you. They have hair like Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons. And the grease they use on their hair is tough on our finely maincured hands. That's the kind of thing that we shouldn't have to degrade ourselves with.
Christian: Another ugly haven has got to be "Dudleyville." That place has got to have more than it's fair share of ugly people, because it generated the repulsive Buh-Buh Ray and D-Von. Come to think of it, X-Pac and Road Dogg are pretty hideous too.

Lesson 2 - Oral and General Hygiene
Christian: We hate to keep harping on the Dudleyz, but those two have the worst case of halitosis ever. Whenever we wrestle them, we try and hold our breath, but that can be taking on the body.
Edge: You may notice that when either Christian or I get real close to Buh-Buh, we put a hand up over our face. That's not to block a punch. That's an attempt to block the smell, which is far more potent than his punches. I don't want that breath anywhere near my skin.
     As you can tell from looking at Christian and myself, hygeine is a very important aspect of our daily routine. Look at these teeth. I brush as often as I can, sometimes up to 48 times a day. In terms of disgusting oral hygeine, anywhere you go down South, you tend to find a lack of teeth.
Christian: Arizona is another place where people are, shall we say, "hygienically challenged." Fat, smelly, simple - all those adjectives describe most Americans.
Edge: Well put, Christian, and I say that because I really don't think they would understand anything more than one-word answers. After all, Arizona's the home of peeling skin and sun-bleached lips. There really isn't a whole lot more to be said for that state other than they have a lot of lizards, cacti - that's plural for cactus - and mud huts. I do believe they live in mud huts in Arizona.

Lesson 3 - Fame
Edge: We could grace the covers of GQ and Tiger Beat, of course. Even Cosmo asked us to be on their cover. We get so many endorsement offers that we turn down most of them. When you get as many requests as we do, you have to be very particular. Because we are so good-looking and such good athletes, people will try to take advantage of us. Not to mention the time constraints we have. We have very little time because the fans always want to be near Edge and Christian.
Christian: Can you blame them?
Edge: Let's be brutally honest - people love us. A lot of the times we can't say that we reciprocate the feeling, but we do the best we can by giving them that one nugget in their humdrum lives that makes them feel good. Of course that's their five seconds to take a picture of us.

Lesson 4 - Jealousy
Christian: Let's go down the list. The Hardy Boyz, Dudley Boyz, Too Cool - they're all jealous of us. We look good. We perform spectacularly. We're photogenic. We're everything they wish they could be and more, and that just bothers them so much. I really can't blame them for feeling that way.
Edge: Too Cool's jealous of us because we can dance better than they can. We can cut a mean rug. Road Dogg and X-Pac are jealous because they're just not very good. T&A is very jealous because they have such a stupid name. But, I don't think it's just tag teams. Chri Jericho, for instance is very jealous of us. He models himself after us, although to be honest, he falls way short.
     Let's face it. People hate dynasties. In hockey, they hated the Islanders, Oliers and Red Wings. In football, they hated the Cowboys and the 49ers. And that's what Edge and Christian are when it comes to the World Wrestling Federation. We're a dynasty. The Edge and Christian dynasty.

Lesson 5: The Importance of Giving Back
Christian: A lot of the younger kids come up to us in the dressing room and ask us for our wise and grizzled veteran-like critiques. We're happy to give them advice, a pat on the head, and tell them which way to go -- which is usually away from us.
Edge: We also help the veterans who want to keep up with the latest trends. They try tio keep up with our fast pace, but unfortunatelty, they fall behind. If we need to slow down for them, we're willing to take one for the team and do it every once in a while.
Christian: Every doay, we try to satisfy as many people as we can. You know, there just isn't enough of us to satisfy everyone, but we do try.
Edge: It's tough, because we're out there giving and giving and never getting anything in return.
Christian: It's 24/7, us giving to the fans. That's the life of Edge and Christian. It has nothing to do with the Hardcore belt. It just happens to be that we are in demand 24/7, 365 days a year. People want to be near us, they want to be like us. They want to touch us. We try and try and that's all we can do.

Lesson 6 - Being Cool
Christian: Let's face it, those Too Cool fools come out dancing and they look horrible. They think the crowd is cheering and yelling for them, when in actuallity the crowd is yelling for them to stop because they are embarassing themselves. It's pretty sad when you feel embarassed for somebody -- which is how everyone backstage and in the audiance feels.
Edge: Rarely if ever will you find two men who can dance as well as Christian and myself. We could even bring back breakdancing if we wanted to. You put a little cardboard in the ring and watch us bust a move. We bring all elements. We can do Fred Astaire's dance moves or Michael Jackson's. Who else is big right now? That Sisqo kid can move, but he's not as good as us. N'Sync, they're pretty cool, so are the Backstreet Boys but once again not as good as us. As a matter of fact, they call us for advice all the time.
Edge: On a side note, what's the deal with all these "B-O-Y-Z"? They Dudley Boyz, Hardy Boyz.
Christian: Do you think that taking the "S" out of my name and replacing it with a "Z," so I'd be called Chriztian would somehow make me cooler? How pathetic.

Lesson 7 - Places To Stay Away From
Christian: Well, as soon as the plane touches ground in a place like Kentucky or Pennsylvania, I wish it were taking off again. Unfortuneately, that's not the case. We have a show to do and we have fans to please. They want to take their five seconds of flash photography; they want to take our picture. That's probably the happiest and closest they'll get to greatness in their whole lives, so we're glad we can do that for them. We know that it's sad that they have to live in, say, Kentucky, North Carolina, Arizona, Pennsylvania or even Wisconsin their whole lives. We get to leave.
Edge: Europe, on the other hand, is fantastic. It's a little known fact, but the people of Europe have finer tastes and really understand what the Edge and Christian dynsaty is all about. They hygiene is a little lacking - especially in France - but when it comes to wisdom, they're right up there. I mean, how can you compare.